


This Isn't Waterboarding

by notbug (KageKashu)



Series: Consequences [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Gen, Mito doesn't want to admit that she's amused, Please Don't Take This Seriously, implied one sided Hashirama/Madara, inexplicit nudity, mild brother on brother violence, though the traveler isn't in this part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KageKashu/pseuds/notbug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hashirama is at his most obnoxious when he's happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't Waterboarding

**Author's Note:**

> I totally intended to post this weeks ago...

Tobirama was mildly disappointed that he didn't get to use his new jutsu, but at the same time, he was pleased not to have to fight. The best case scenario of the aftermath of such a fight, Hashirama would mope for days. The worst case... Madara or Izuna getting in a lucky hit and killing either him or his brother. 

The only downside he could see of not having to fight was Hashirama's reaction to apparently winning over Madara's stubborn ego after all this time. He was high on success; his head was so far into the clouds that Tobirama knew he couldn't see the ugly reality of the ground. It was a good thing that Tobirama was there, because _someone_ had to pay attention to the real world. 

"Hashirama," he said, and was unsurprised that his brother didn't react. Without the Uchiha fighting them, they needed to reorganize, and while Tobirama was more than capable, technically, it was Hashirama's job to give out the orders. "Hashirama," he repeated. Still nothing.

The valley in which the field lay was silent for a moment longer, then a bellow of "Hashirama!" echoed through it, flushing birds from the sun drenched grasses, as a giant tree suddenly sprouted at the source of the sound.

Hashirama struggled in the aftermath of his own jutsu, while Tobirama took over the organization of their mission. None in the squad could quite make themselves look him in the eye, and so took the orders as though they were from Hashirama himself. To one of the newer members, Tobirama said, "This is how we use kawarmi offensively."

Hashirama made a muffled sound that may have been a protest.

"Does that mean you're ready to come out now?" Tobirama asked.

"No," Hashirama muttered. "At least it feels like someone is hugging me..."

Tobirama's hands twitched with the urge to actually do some damage to his idiotic brother while he was trapped like that, but as the mature one, he sighed deeply, then snapped, "We leave the idiot. As the gods love morons, we know he'll be fine."

With the Uchiha apparently abandoning their mission at Madara's whim, the Senju's mission was almost unnerving easy. That wasn't to say there weren't other enemies, but none were on the same level as the Uchiha. As such things go, they were paid for their efforts and their time, and were eventually sent on their way.

Nearly a week after the encounter with the Uchiha, Hashirama went home, leaving the rest of the mission to Tobirama and his squad, because Madara had said to contact him "in a week's time." Tobirama was certain that Hashirama had immediately dusted off the latest version of the treaty they had written up (between Hashirama's hope and Tobirama's desire to cover all his bases) and sent it off. If there wasn't already a reply when he got home, he would be disappointed.

* * *

Mito was irritated with him again, but Hashirama couldn't bring himself to care. He was too excited to slow down. His heart beat echoed in his ears and he couldn't sleep. He had been walking on sunshine since the aborted battle not a month earlier, but today, he was fair to burst. Madara had finally replied to the scroll that Hashirama had sent - the first draft, officially, of what would hopefully become a treaty between the Senju and the Uchiha.

"Tobirama, your brother got a love letter this morning, and he won't calm down. I've been scraping him off the walls all day..." Hashirama paused, letting his wife's voice, aggravated as it was, wash over him. It took a moment for her words to register, but when they did, he was excited all over again. His little brother was home! "It's your turn."

Tobirama sounded exhausted when he replied. "I was hoping to at least get a bath first."

"All day," Mito reiterated.

"It's your job; after all, you married him." Their voices were growing closer, and Hashirama stilled himself, plotting to hug Tobirama when they reached him.

"You're his brother. Filial duty comes first," Mito told him.

"I just want a bath. One hour, then I'll deal with Hashi." Hashirama smirked to himself at that. He was too experienced to easily give himself away, so when Tobirama reached him, the startle was very real. Dangerously real, because Tobirama apparently thought he was being attacked when Hashirama reached out and scooped him up out of nowhere. Tobirama flailed violently, and cursed when he realized who had him.

"I'm so happy," Hashirama told him, attempting to nuzzle into Tobirama's side, only to be thwarted by the fact that his brother was still in armor. It never took long for Tobirama to give up the fight - Hashirama wouldn't put him down until he was good and ready - and every time he did, it was always the same. Suddenly he became deadweight, like a cat or a young child carried against their will, letting out the most put upon sigh. Hashirama never heard such a sound from anyone else, and more often than not, it amused him.

"I'm going to bed," said Mito, hiding a smile. Because of moments like this, Hashirama liked to think that she was happy, arranged marriage or not. "You're finding your own bed tonight, Hashi. I don't want to deal with you while you're still bouncing."

"I just wanted a bath," Tobirama grouched over Hashirama's shoulder. Hashirama took a moment to think on that.

"Okay," he replied, and started walking down the hall without bothering to put Tobirama down. He could always talk to him in the baths, anyway.

"Not with you," his brother growled, but Hashirama just laughed.

It was a good day.

* * *

Mito flinched at the sound of an indignant screech coming from the direction of the fuuro. She pulled her blankets up to muffle her ears, but couldn't quite ignore her instincts in favor of much needed sleep.

Hashirama had been _insufferable_ since he came back from that mission. Certainly, he had been in an unrelenting good mood, and he had been ever so attentive as a husband... but Mito knew what was keeping him in such high spirits. The worst part was, although the sex was good, he always, _always_ , wanted to talk afterwards. She didn't want to hear about Madara after sex. It was just... No. There were some things a wife shouldn't have to deal with.

The feeling that there was something she had to do wasn't leaving her, so she dragged herself out of the blankets and shrugged on a sleeping yukata before heading in the direction of the disturbance.

She paused outside the changing area, noting an almost disconcerting silence from the fuuro. Rather, the silence would have been disconcerting if she wasn't highly suspicious of the cause. She flicked open the screen and was greeted by a wall of water. The fuuro was dark, but hardly empty - in daylight, it would be much easier to see the struggling forms beyond the seals keeping the water contained, but Mito was more than capable.

An irritated sigh escaped her as she watched her brother-in-law try to fight his way free of his brother's grasp. A towel, caught in an eddy caused by Tobirama's insistent thrashing, briefly obscured their forms from her sight. Hashirama was still trying to talk, even silenced as he was by the water, something that amused her, but apparently pissed off Tobirama, judging by the punch he threw.

Mito's lips pursed. She could watch their naked forms as long as she wanted - it was doubtful that either would drown, being as experienced as they were with suiton - but the fuuro itself would be damaged if she waited too long. There was a pipe on the outside of the building that would allow the water to drain without damaging the rest of the house - the true reason for the water containment seals in the fuuro, which had been there since long before she married Hashirama.

It made her wonder what their parents had gotten up to.

The pipe was easily located, even in the dark, and as she watched the water gushing out, she wondered anew just how Tobirama summoned so much of it at once. She knew it was just one shot, too, having been in there once when he did it. Hashirama confided shortly after that it had taken their father ten different jutsus to achieve the same effect.

And her cousins kept expressing their sympathy over her having to live with "those stiff-necked Senju". _If only they knew,_ she thought, with some amusement. It just went to show how well kept a secret the family's insanity was, even from their long-standing allies. There had been little need for adjustment when she moved in with the Senju, as they were very like her Uzumaki cousins, only with less red hair.

Perhaps she ought to see about fostering some of the younger cousins. It would be amazing to put them in the fuuro with Hashirama and Tobirama while the brothers were feuding.

The water slowed, no longer quite gushing, but still more than a trickle, by the time she decided to head back to bed. If Hashirama tried to cuddle with her again, it had better not be with Madara's name on his lips. If it was, then she would be feuding with him just surely as his brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there is more. I'm so sorry.


End file.
